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"What about me," whined Heidi."You're staying here," said the woman. Her pleasant tone indicated that she was far happier about Heidi not coming with us. "As soon as we pull off, I'll call John and someone from the Sheriff's office will come and pick you up."You're just going to go off with this woman?" asked Heidi. "You don't even know who she is."I just shrugged my shoulders. "Okay fine," said Heidi. "Take the God damned phone. And you..." she said whining at me. "You're falling right into their trap. Haven't you seen this enough times in the fucking movies? Usually they take you to a place where your cell phone doesn't have any bars so you can't call for help. Then, once they get you up to some creepy assed farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, all of your friends start dying off one by one. First, it'll be the black guy, then the teenagers who get caught fucking, then the fat nerdy guy and after that the bitchy girl..."I was embarrassed. "Heidi, we don't have a black guy with us or. I look. She is in her mid thirties, a few pounds overweight. Tight skirt, no bra. Butt overflows the barstool a bit. Looks like she's been in the Vee Jay for a while.Joe is no slouch with women. "Gimme a few minutes," he says, and slides down the bar to where the blonde is sitting. I can see them talking. After a bit, Joe waves for me to come on over."This here's Flossie," Joe says. "Flossie, this here's my good buddy Dick." (My name isn't Dick. Joe is always planning ahead.) "Dick and Roger go way back, right Dick?." (So now his name is Roger. For that matter, like her name is really Flossie?)Up close I can smell the beer on her breath. She's a little ripe. But shit, Joe and I have done worse. "Hi, Flossie, how ya doing? Yeah, Dick and Roger go way, way back. One for all and all for one," I tell her. "Want a beer?" I signal to the barkeep, beers all around. Flossie is smiling. Well, hell, she has most of her teeth still.So Joe and I are sitting on either side of Flossie, chatting her.
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